Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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