we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
