I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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