Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference

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(810): View more from Michigan

you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder

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(256): View more from Alabama

So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist

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(813): View more from Florida

So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters

(1-813): View more from Florida

Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents

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