So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
