What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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