i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
