She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
