these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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