You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
