Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
