HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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