THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
