when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have demons in me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
