the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
