I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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