Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
