So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Let's paint friendship bongs
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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