You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
