Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
