In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
