i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
