The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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