who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
