i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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