god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
