i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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