YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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