smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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