Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
