I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
