Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
