i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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