The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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