2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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