There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
