Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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