What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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