I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize