Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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