U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
