Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize