All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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