Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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