I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She even gives head with a lisp.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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