Soap is not a condiment
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
