I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
