what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
