you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
