Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
