i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
