It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
