I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
