I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
