clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
