They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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