Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
