Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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