Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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