Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My hand turned me down
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
