i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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