we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
