I don't think brook has ever known best
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
