Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
