That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize