no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
