it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
