by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
