I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
